The person with the unhealthy ego typically hears negative self-talk which is unsupportive and frightening since it gets its source of information from what one truly feels about themselves. They can also feel exaggerated ideas about themselves, such as grandiose ideas about how wonderful and exceptional they are to the point of being conceited and arrogant and can also believe that they are beyond reproach, responsibility or consequences.
Most personas with unhealthy egos are difficult to get to know or have intimacy issues because of their fear of really being found out. Their self-loathing has superseded their feelings of self-love.
They may also have substance abuse issues which they use as a way to numb the incessant barrage of negative messages that the ego gives.
Taming the ego is really about raising one's self-esteem, and this is first done by refining one's inner self-talk to be calming, positive, supportive and self-loving so reactivity is no longer a necessary weapon against inner shame.
To tame the ego is to quiet negative self-talk and pursue peace of mind. It is the way to successfully engage in meaningful and loving relationships with others. It is only when our own egos are healthy, can we truly give love and support to others. A person with an unhealthy ego finds love and support foreign and beyond their reach.
There is definitely help for taming the ego. The results give peace, love and happiness as a person becomes more congruent with self-love, assertiveness and honesty.
Risa Ennis Family Mediation and Counselling Services Telephone: (416) 636-2946 Email: risasmediation@rogers.com
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